BEEN-SEEN.COM - A DIFFERENCE IN WHERE AND HOW WE TRAVEL

We here at Verana like to do our best to accommodate our guests' every whim, so when Jeff asked us if there was biking in the area, we helped him out, even though it's not something we normally do as an activity. But after a day trip to Puerta Vallarta, where the trusty Eco Tours bike rentals is located, and our manager, Wim, from Belgium (he has a soft spot for bikers), in a day we were ready to put the petal to the metal...or the gravel roads, as it were.

We're offering wi-fi for the first time this season because the idea of going an entire week without updates from the outside is enough to make some people reconsider their dream vacation. I admit, once in a while I get my mental junk food fix from a forgotten issue of People magazine (oh, the shame!), but now we're seeing i-phones and Blackberries on every table at every meal! Come on guys, we can do better than that!

If I'm at work past midnight, it's a good thing. It means that I'm sitting at the bar with a glass of wine getting to know the guests beyond their dietary restrictions. We've had really great guests the past few weeks, so I'm running on minimal sleep.
When Sophie and Michel first arrived, our exchanges consisted of little more than wine recommendations. By the last night, they had found a wine sufficiently pleasing to their French palates to indulge in several bottles. It's amazing the effect that alcohol has on a language barrier. As we gathered around the bar, Sophie began an hour long discourse on the pleasure to be found in "the lips of a Pedro." From what I gathered, she was trying to tell that all donkeys in Yelapa are named Pedro, and no sensation compares to that of donkey lips on the flesh of one's hands and arms.

Others at the bar didn't know what to make of young Sophie, her exclusively black wardrobe and her enthusiasm for the oral contact of donkeys. Even her boyfriend was head-in-hands at this point, but I knew I had found my new best friend. I tried to convince Sophie to join the Verana staff. I even offered her a place in the Treehouse, but to no avail. Michel had important work to do¬- a large scale art installation expressing his passion for women in words written in human hair on the sides of buildings.
They were gone the next morning, but each time I pass a donkey (here, at least five times a day) I think of Sophie. We're now offering a donkey lip hand treatment at the spa, ask for the Sophie Special.

Check out the hottest in hair trends for this spring fresh off the trails of Yelapa. Verana chefs, gardeners and wait staff just can't get enough of the mock Batman insignia shaved into the nape of the neck. If you've gotta have the look of the season head over to Pancho's Peluqueria in downtown Yelapa during your next visit to Verana!

Among the staff here we're constantly joking about what a great reality show our life here would make. The Real World intro always comes to mind- "35 strangers picked to live in the jungle to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. The Real World, Verana." Only our life here, while equally drama-packed, does not remotely resemble the "real world." Much like our guests, the members of the Verana staff have all come here, for whatever reason, to escape the perils of the civilized world. Indeed, most of us don't quite fit into the societal mold and don't much care to.
So, you can imagine we have quite a colorful cast, which when compacted with our remote location and close living quarters makes for some unusual entertainment. Here in Yelapa where TV reaches a select few and print media is almost unheard of gossiping is not only the main source of entertainment, but also the town sport. Inter-staff conflict consists mainly of accusations like "Felix said that Isaac said that you told him that I got wasted at the Yacht Club and went home with the new guy and that's why I didn't come to work on time and you had to work a double-shift!" We love each other, we talk crap about each other, we make out with each other, we have way too much freedom and even more alcohol at our disposal, all while providing top notch service at this one of a kind paradise. So, if there are any TV producers out there looking for a Big Brother meets Survivor (oooohhh how we would love to start voting people off the "island!") kind of drama, all we're is the missing the cameras!

Before having a Watsu therapist for a roommate I had scant idea what Watsu was all about. Now that I've experienced two different methods of the therapy I can't shut up about it.
It's almost impossible to fit Watsu into the framework of prior experiences. In fact, the only sensations I can remotely liken it to are flying in a dream or what it must have felt like being inside Mommy's belly, rolling around carelessly in warm goo. As the therapist pulled, pushed and pressed my body through a series of movements I felt every part of me completely relax. My body became as fluid as the water and my mind as crystal clear. It took me several minutes to come out of the trance-like state after the treatment, and my first words? "What the hell was that?!?"

Angela, a master in a form of Watsu developed in Mexico known as Jantsu, explained that since the body is made up primarily of water, it is in this medium that healing is most effective. If one can trust the therapist enough to completely relax, the movements will quiet the mind and get the internal rivers moving. In the water, the therapist can feel every current flowing through the body, and focus the treatment accordingly. I'm not sure what she felt in me but she had me somersaulting under water and at one point she was pulling me across the pool by my hair. I came out of the water feeling blissfully brand new, with a new addiction to Watsu.

If you're vacationing at Verana, you must be doing alright for yourself. Lucky for us, our guests tend to be from the down-to-earth end of the well-to-do spectrum. Sure, we get the occasional wacko that wants to wash our mules with milk and honey, but for the most part our guests are open minded spirits with great careers and cool stories to share.

Case in point, Virginia Young and Janie Lowe, the co-founders and "head color nerds" behind Yolo Color House. As creators of custom interior finishes, ranging from murals to plasters, the pair of artists became increasingly aware of the effects water-based paints had on the environment as well as their own health. So began the search for alternative paint recipes. Yolo Color House's environmentally responsible products are available throughout the U.S. and Canada and also on their website- www.yolocolorhouse.com

After four months of listening to tales of the Marietas and dropping not so subtle hints as to my desire to go, I was finally permitted to join a group aboard Verana 1 bound for the islands. I jumped, I squealed with delight and then I was handed a stack of towels, 9 snorkels and 2 cases of beer.

With trusty Captain Moi at the throttle and questionably trusty Activities Guy Alex at the bow we took to the seas. The 45 minute ride is nothing nice on the innards or the backsides but avian and marine life sightings distract from the jarring swells. We always explain to the guests that the Marietas might not be what they envision a secluded group of small uninhabited islands to be. No coconuts falling from swaying palms here. The terrain resembles something more akin to the surface of the moon or some other craggy planet.

Arriving at the first island Alex and I unloaded food and drink, picnic supplies and snorkeling gear on to a white sand beach that extends from the mouth of a cave. The guests, a group of 6 friends from Chicago, picnicked, snorkeled and sunbathed at their leisure. The water was chilly, but crystal clear and the surrounding reef was surprisingly vibrant and busy with sea creatures.

Beer and food supply exhausted, we set off in search of wildlife, the highlight of any Marietas excursion. I saw more boobies that afternoon than I had ever hoped to, the Blue Footed variety only found here and in the Galapagos Islands. Also hanging out around the islands we ran into a sea turtle and a seal, a sighting so rare we suspect it might have escaped from a near by sea life park! Still we were disappointed that we hadn't spotted any whales by the time we got back into Yelapa Cove. But just as we were nearing our destination at the Ranchito pier we found our selves in the middle of a pod of 10 to 20 black orcas. The perfect end to a hard day at work!!

The set up was straight out of a late-night infomercial- red satin table cloth, incense, missing only the crystal ball and the Caribbean accent. The skeptic in me was prepared for a generic 1-900 style rendering of my dilemmas and dreams. Financial worries and workplace woes?? Wow, how insightful, you already know I work at Verana!

Before we began, Guru Jorge explained that his grandfather introduced him to the art of Tarot reading as a boy. In his younger pursuits he left the cards behind to later rediscover their connection with his life's work as a therapist and healer. Healing is all about tapping in to the energy of others and gaining insight to their needs, and Tarot is another means of revealing aspects of one's condition. OK, I'll buy that, let's give it a go......
I won't divulge too much, but I am now on the look out for me "with male genitalia." Jorge's translation of the cards' symbols struck some personal chords to the point that I burst out laughing a few times. I'm a little uncomfortable with a co-worker knowing so much, but he did suggest some things for me to focus on and look for. Was I spared from an imminent quarter-life crisis? Not likely, but the picture seems slightly more focused, and that's all I was hoping for.
Jorge's cutting intuition, frequently noted by guests and staff, is definitely spooky, but gives him an undeniable edge as a therapist and makes him a really interesting guy to be around.

If you have been fortunate to visit us during a full moon, you couldn't have missed the luminescent lunar display as seen from our Terrace Restaurant during dinner. Only during the days of peak fullness does the moon rise directly over the opposite ridge and illuminate little Yelapa Cove in a dinner show that borders on over-the-top.
This past Wednesday, however, we had a bonus feature, not limited to Verana viewers. The only total lunar eclipse to occur for the next 2 years was visible in the evening sky of the Americas. Here is what it looked like from our restaurant, over lobster dinner...